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Hercules 1997 Aired on ABC (May 1999) Part 5
(Hercules and Megara land, as Hercules dismounts from Pegasus) * Hercules: Are you alright? * Megara: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery. * Pain: (as a boy) Help! I can't breathe! * Panic: (as a boy) Hurry up! * Pain: (as a boy) Get us out! * Panic: (as a boy) We're suffocating! Somebody call IX-I-I! * Hercules: Easy fellas, you'll be alright. * Pain: (as a boy) We can't last much longer! * Panic: (as a boy) Get us out before we get crushed! * (Hercules raises a huge boulder. Children run out from under it and the crowd applauds lightly) * Hercules: How you boys doing here? * Panic: (as a boy) We're alright now. * Pain: (as a boy) Jeepers, mister, you are really strong! * Hercules: (yet holding the stone) Well, try to be a little more careful next time, right, children? * Pain: (as a boy) We sure will! (they run away up the slope and face Hades) * Hades: A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved. * Panic: "Jeepers, Mister"? * Pain: I was going for innocence. * Hades: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. (looking at Megara) What a dish. What a doll. * Megara: (silently) Get outta there, you big lug, while you always can. * Hercules: Phil, I did great. They even applauded......sort of. * (Growling sound begins) * Phil: Huh! I hate to burst your bubble, child, but that ain't applause. * (The Hydra appears) * Hercules: Ph-Ph-Ph-Phil? What do you call that fact? * Phil: Two words! Am-scray!! * Hades: Let's get ready to rumble! * (The Hydra and Hercules start fighting) * Phil: That's it. Dance around. Dance around! Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth. Keep moving. Keep moving. C'mon. Pull. Lead with your left. Lead with your left! Your other left! * (Eventually, Hercules cuts the Hydra's head off. The crowd cheers) * Phil: Alright! Alright! You are bad! Alright! * Hercules: See, Phil? That-that wasn't so hard. (He drops his sword and falls flat on the ground) * Phil: Child, child, child. How many horns do you see? * Hercules: Six? * Phil: Eh, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up. * (Above on Hades' watching perch, Panic shivers and gulps) * Hades: Guys, guys, relax. It's only halftime. * (Below, Hercules and Phil hear rumbling from the Hydra's body) * Phil: That doesn't sound good. (The Hydra gets three new heads) Certainly not good! * (Hercules, on Pegasus, fights with the Hydra and keeps slicing their heads off, getting more and more new ones) * Phil: Will you forget that head-slicing fact? * (Hercules gets knocked off Pegasus and falls among the Hydra's heads and necks) * Hercules: Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training! * (Hercules escapes, but falls back from the cliff and is now pressed against the wall by the Hydra's paw) * Hades: My favorite part of the game; sudden death. * (Hercules crushes the rock on the Hydra and gets buried under rocks himself as well) * Phil: Oh! There goes another one. Just like Achilles. * Hades: (lighting himself a cigar) Game. Set. Match. * (Hercules appears from the Hydra's dead paw. The crowd cheers really loud now) * Hercules: Phil, you gotta admit, that was pretty heroic. * Phil: You did it, child! You did it! You won by a landslide! * (Above, Hades turns a bright shade of red, destroying his cigar and pinches his minions' eye sockets) * Panic: (in pain) Hades mad. * Megara: Well. What do you know?